8 Things About Me hmm…

Erbo I will kill you later.

1. I am antisocial except in SL

2. I build computers

3. I love most all music (exceptions to this are Country and Hardcore Rap)

4. I have two kids

5. My first computer was a TI 99 4A

6 I dj in SL

7. I am married RL and SL

8. I have an Alt. 😛

Dani goes back to sleep.

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Yeah It’s Been A While

So as you might have figured out I  have been enjoying my SL time elsewhere.  I have actually discovered RL again as well  and now with the release of Sim City Societies I have been having a blast.

Worry not maybe I will return…..someday.

Dani

All Good Things Must Come to an End

In response to Erbo’s post here. I only have this to add:

Dani………yeah

WTF Is Wrong With Some People??????????

NUFF SAID!!!

Somebody get the blonde an air change her brain imploded.

Dani out!

Dani Pick

Papa Roach–Forever

In the brightest hour of my darkest day
I realized what is wrong with me
Can’t get over you. can’t get through to you
It’s been a helter-skelter romance from the start
Take these memories that are Haunting me
Of a paper man cut into shreds by his own pair of scissors
He’ll never forgive her…he’ll never forgive her…

Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever

Sitting by a fire on a lonely night
Hanging over from another good time
With another girl… little dirty girl
You should listen to this story of a life
You’re my heroine-in this moment I’m lonely fulfilling my darkest dreams
All these drugs all these women
I’m never forgiven… this broken heart of mine

Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever,
Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever

One last kiss,
before I go
Dry your tears,
it is time to let you go

One last kiss (one last kiss)
Before I go (before I go)
Dry your tears (dry your tears)
It is Time to let you go

Because days come and go, but my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go, but my feelings for you are forever

One last kiss (one last kiss)
Before I go (before I go)
Dry your tears (dry your tears)
It is time to let you go

One last kiss,
Before I go,
Dry your tears,
it is time to let you go,
One last kiss

Hanging In The Balance

Having dialed back my Second Life exposure, I am finding other things to do and enjoying myself a bit (while fighting a rather nasty cold). I watched my 10 year old go off to the sixth grade the other day and had to admit how grown up he looked. I was proud and sad at the same time since he is my baby, my youngest. His sister is doing good as well. I have found it easier to rest and fight my cold without having to worry about djing or something in world.

I still log in to fix shit and edit timeclocks and such but not much else. I logged in for Corr’s wedding too. I also maintain the schedules for the Gin Rummy and have been dinking at the events calender sporadically.

It boils down to this though. To much has happened to Dani in a year’s time and not all of it I like to remember fondly. I have made friends and had those that I thought were friends. To most this is a game but to those of us smart enough to realize the depth of the connections between people in Second Life, we realize it is more than that. I have watched friendships that I valued and treasured even grow distant and strained without ever really knowing why. Maybe I am naive, maybe even a bit pigheaded at times but I do value my friends and consider them family. I have been stalked. I have been attacked because of my views on things, the Gin Rummy being one of them. I have logged off more than once in tears and vowed never to return only to log in the next day.

I have been called a bitch and a slut (although I can count my sexual encounters since my first purchase of xcite parts on ONE hand). And through this all, my most faithful and constant companion has been Erbo. I would do anything for Erbo and he the same for me.  There has been another that I am glad to call friend who has been there through my most recent catastrophes and still stands by me no matter what.

We have maintained the Gin Rummy through it’s countless phases and will continue to do so. When it stops being fun and becomes work, we will close it’s doors and move on. For right now it is still fun.

But now Danielle hangs in the balance. She will never be truly gone since she is a part of me like it or not and I am not canceling her account or anything like that. But I am loathe to log in with her. Even though I must admit I have done so much with her and have seen so much come and go in a year’s time. I hate being Danielle. So much bad outweighs the good at this present time that I have considered making an alt, just to recapture what I have lost with Dani.

I can not say I have done so yet. And if I do I won’t tell but a handful of people. I am just not certain were I stand at this time. I will not leave SL for good and certainly not without telling anyone but I might come back as someone new.

Don’t fear though Danielle will never truly be gone (I have spent to much on her wardrobe to trash her completely. 😛 )

We shall see.

Dani teeters on the edge.

Complication’s my claim to fame
And I can’t believe there’s another
Constantly just another
I can’t avoid what I can’t control
And I’m losing ground
Still I can’t stand down
And I know, yeah I know, yeah

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around’s breaking down to chaos
I always see you when my sight is lost
Everything around’s breaking down to chaos

It’s hard to trust anyone again
After all the let downs I’ve been through
Haunted by what I’ve been through
Air still trapped while I still can’t breathe
And I’m screaming out
Give me hope somehow
And I know, yeah I know, yeah

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around’s breaking down to chaos
I always see you when my sight is lost
Everything around’s breaking down to chaos

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around’s breaking down to chaos
I always see you when my sight is lost
Everything around’s breaking down to chaos

Chaos, chaos
I know you stay true, yeah
I know you stay, yeah, yeah, yeah

I know you stay true, everything around’s breaking down
I know you stay true, everything around’s breaking down

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around’s breaking down to chaos
I always see you when my sight is lost
Everything around’s breaking down to chaos

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around’s breaking down to chaos
I always see you when my sight is lost
Everything around’s breaking down to chaos

Chaos
Mute Math from the cd Flesh and Bones Electric Fun

I Need A Freaking Break Damn It!!

DRAMA!!!!!!!

I hate HATE fucking drama yet it seems to follow me, Danielle Ferguson, EVERYFUCKINGWHERE!!!!

First off, I find it hard to believe that when I bend six ways to Sunday to try an accommodate a person and make things smoother for them in the long run that they should in turn, vilify me for what they believe to be mistreatment.  In what fucking century did I mistreat you?!?!?!?  If anything I have been more than receptive to your ideas, comments and suggestions, more-so than most other people.  I not only have witnesses to this but logs of every fucking conversation that shows as much.  So how the fuck does that make me the Bad Guy?!?!?!  I have been hard pressed to figure that one out and so far I got nothing.

Second off, I run the Gin Rummy like a RL business, ask anyone.   Why?   Because there is more RL money sunk in to it than anyone has the right to know.  From the start Erbo and I agreed to run it that way and have been doing so for a year come September.  From the start the Gin Rummy has been a No Drama Zone and that has not changed.  It is something that I enjoy doing and want to keep it one happy place in my Second Life.  A place for people to go and forget about shit that has or was bothering them for at least 2 hours a day.  What this means is that when you are hired into the Gin Rummy you agree to the no drama  policy and to conduct yourself in a professional RL business manner.  That means you DO NOT bring or create Drama and problems on the grounds of the GR, you take that bullshit elsewhere, we don’t want it here and you KNEW that.  BUT, people have been doing it and then having the nerve to look at me funny when I get pissed off.  Ummmm DUH!!  You create drama I am going to get pissed and smack the drama-starter period.  Also we provide the tools for you to be able to do your job professionally.  If you chose not to use those tools then you are not a professional and we don’t need you.  If you think that working for the GR is just a fucking game then you need to find another job.  We pay you to do a job then you need to fucking do it period.

Third off,  I am my own person.  I don’t bow and scape or kiss anyone’s ass.  Never have, never will.  Ask Erbo.  I am not at anyone’s beck and call but my own.  I have a fucking life outside of Second Life.  I have kids, bills and problems of my own that I chose not to bring into Second Life because it is no one’s business but my own.   Yes, there is the chosen few that know what is going on with me at all times but they are the ones that reciprocate and I know what is going on with them and we try to help each other if we can or just be there as a shoulder to cry on and a hug of sympathetic understanding.  But above all we cope.  What this means is that if I offer to do something for you it is when have the time not when you think you will be able to accomodate me or when you tell me you can.  I don’t want you to send me an IM at some ungodly hour of the morning saying “Come do it NOW” because it is going to go to my offline and get deleted.  I HAVE A LIFE!!  I make time to do stuff for people and if they can not accomodate me at the time I have then sorry they will have to wait until I have another such moment to be able to do it.  This also goes for my djing.  I will not DJ for you if you wait until an hour or less before the event and say “Oh yeah we need you tonight”.  Not going to happen.  Nine times out of ten I am either logged in busy or you can hit my email with an offline.  I need time to prepare and pull a playlist which I can not do an hour before the event.  I have over 6000 mp3s to sift thru and find the ones right for the theme of your event.  So if you do that you won’t have me dj for you that night or any night.  Sorry, I am a professional and prefer to be treated as such, not like some common hack.

Fourth off,  I AM TOO FUCKING NICE!!! I am too damn nice, fatally so, and I think that is something that needs to change.  I am sick and tired of being hurt by people I trusted or tried to help.  I am tired of being taken advantage of.  I am tired of having my teeth kicked in.  I just feel it is time for me to close ranks and those that have been with me thru thick and thin and have been supportive shall be kept close.  Those who have not, well can piss off.  I refuse to extend kindness to those who will return it with lies, drama and backstabbing attitudes.  I will no longer put myself out there to hurt and abused.  If that makes me cold then so be it since YOU made me this way.  I am DONE.  Finito Fini

If that makes me a bitch then so be it.

Have a nice day.

Dani gets pissed.

Why, you wanna tell me how to live my life?
Who, are you to tell me if it’s black or white?
Mama, can you hear me? try to understand.
Is innocence the difference between a boy and a man.
My daddy lived a lie, it’s just the price that he paid.
Sacrificed his life, just slaving away.

Oh,if there is one thing I hang onto,
That gets me through the night.
I ain’t gonna do what I don’t want to,
I’m gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge and
show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my FACE,
I say, Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day-ay-ay

Take a look around you, nothing´s what it seems
We’re living in a broken home of hopes and dreams,
Let me be the first to shake a helping hand.
Anybody, brave enough to take a stand,
I’ve knocked on every door, on every dead-end street,
Looking for forgiveness and what’s left to believe

Oh, if there is one thing I hang onto,
That gets me through the night.
I ain’t gonna do what I don’t want to,
I’m gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge, and show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,
I say, Have A Nice Day
Have A Nice Day-ay-ay.

(Guitar Solo)

Oh oh , if there is one thing I hang onto,
That gets me through the night.
I ain’t gonna do what I don’t want to,
I’m gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge,and show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,
I say, Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day-ay-ay
(in the background)
(Have A Nice Day)

When The world keeps trying to drag me down,
Gotta raise my hands, gonna stand my ground.
I say, hey, Have A Nice Day-ay-ay.
Have A Nice Day!

Have A Nice Day 
Bon Jovi